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  1. #1
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    Something wrong ?

    Hello everybody,

    I have recently translated my web based game into english , but I observ a high bounce rate , so i'm wondering if the translation is not rude or innapropriate.

    here is the website : http://xmrpg.com

    Please tell me everything that seem wrong , thank you for your help

  • #2
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    I don't see anything rude/inappropriate, but there are minor grammatical errors:

    Your character evolves in a medieval fantastic world and fights players from other races for free.
    Here is a list from the principal preacticalities of the game (Main game features):
    3D Online RPG.
    Free RPG, entirely playable from your navigator(maybe you mean computer?).
    A RPG that emphasizes cooperation but not competition.
    Group strategy : Take part to (in) passsionate (fierce?)attacks with many other(multiple) players. (or say multi-player battles)

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    Xaero (05-26-2009)

  • #3
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    Thank you audiogal81 for your corrections.

    In fact , the game is playable directly from the browser ( maybe it's a better word here ) without downloading or installing anything.

    I change the description to insist on this point , as i saw that most of english games are text based, maybe pple are not used to graphical browser games.

  • #4
    The Apostate Apostropartheid's Avatar
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    Ah, vous êtes français ? C'expliquerait vos verbes. Ça va, je le verrai.
    To start with, the copy still doesn't read like natural English. I'll post it again with a couple more corrections (though it's probably still better than my attempts at French):
    Xm-Rpg is a (Massively Multiplayer Online [si vous voulez]) Role Playing Game (MMORPG) in which you play as a member of one of the four races. Your character evolves in a persistent, medieval, fantastic world and fights players from other races.
    Main game features:
    • 3D Online RPG
    • Free Browser-Based RPG: no downloads, no plugins required
    • A RPG that emphasizes cooperation, not competition
    • Group strategy: take part in an exciting attack with multiple players
    Yes, yes, I know prepositions in English are a pain.
    Passionnant, if that were the original word, isn't translated as passionate: rather, exciting. False cognate.

    Also, "visualize it bigger" should be "enlarge".

    I think the bounces may come from you not quite selling it enough. I don't know, maybe actual images instead of blanks might help in the screenshot section?

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    Xaero (05-26-2009)

  • #5
    UE Antagonizer Fumigator's Avatar
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    Oohh, here's the problem:

    A RPG that emphasizes cooperation, not competition
    What's the point?

  • #6
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    Thank you CyanLight for your corrections.

    It's weird that you can't see screenshots , this display nothing ? : http://xmrpg.com/screenshots/1_mini.png

    And yes I'm french, your french is quite good


    Yes Fumigator , it's possible, i know it's unusual

  • #7
    The Apostate Apostropartheid's Avatar
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    I catch a glimpse of them when the page loads, but then they get hidden underneath. It's strange, because that image loads up fine.

  • #8
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    Can you tell me what browser you use ?

  • #9
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    I use FF 3 and when clicking the link in your OP, I see what looks like a page. then I click a thumbnail (the same one as posted above) and it loads a new page with an image all over the top of it. when I click to go back I do not get back to the first page. That is likely why your bounce rate is high.

    validate your code. I found 8 errors which are throwing off closing tags of your js as well.

    bazz
    "The day you stop learning is the day you become obsolete"! - my late Dad.

    Why do some people say "I don't know for sure"? If they don't know for sure then, they don't know!
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  • #10
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    Code is now ok , it was valid but I don't check after last modifications.

    In fact , it doesn't load a new page , it just make a layer appears, if you click again on the image , the layer will disappear.

    But it's probably not user friendly, maybe if I add a close button on the right , it could help to understand ?

  • #11
    The Apostate Apostropartheid's Avatar
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    A close button would probably be best.

    I use IE8.


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