Okay, one more:
`id` bigint(20) NOT NULL AUTO_INCREMENT COMMENT 'just a dummy ID so we know how many items have been uploaded',
My head hurts. This is silly.
SELECT COUNT(*) tells you how many have been uploaded.
Why would you make the database go to the expense of maintaining an extra auto_increment just for keeping count? Especially since any auto_increment table has to be indexed, adding a useless index to your database.