Thank you for your time replying, the info is much appreciated.
I think what I'm looking for in reply is guidance on the technologies that will be okay to do and ones that I should steer clear of - your answers have helped me.
I mentioned LAMP as there seems to be alot of books that knit those technologies together. I will need help re-learning it all again so I think I will buy a LAMP book and go from there - yes that will mean LINUX (as I understand AMP works better with LINUX than WINDOWS), APACHE, MySQL (not PostgreSQL) and PHP. You haven't suggested anything to tell me not to use those technologies. My only fear was to invest all that time and effort only to find what I've used wasn't the best choice/decision.
I wasn't aware XHTML is dead (I was always puzzled why people would use XHTML over HTML), and that book you suggested I actually had the first edition that I bought in anticipation of cracking on with this in the first place but never got round to it. Hopefully the second edition will be up to date with all current technologies.