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View Full Version : How to deal with telemarketers



Spookster
10-26-2006, 05:32 PM
Just came across this. It's pretty funny. It's an audio recording of how one guy dealt with a telemarketer.

http://joshualowry.vox.com/library/audio/6a00c225203796f21900c2252ab8c18e1d.html

kaitco
10-26-2006, 07:13 PM
That is absolutely hilarious. A guy from the Village Voice (http://www.villagevoice.com/blogs/eugene/archives/2005/09/god_called_he_h.php) did the same kind of thing a year ago.

<?austin ?>
11-03-2006, 02:28 AM
funny! but i believe Vulgar or inappropriate language is not allowed in our forums. and that audio clip does contain some inappropriate language. lol spookster, you are supposed to be setting an example for the rest of us. how am i supposed to know what is right with the people i look up to disobeying the rules? lol glad to annoy you spookster. great find.

ArcticFox
11-13-2006, 06:43 AM
That's right! I'm offended, I'm offended!


Burrrrrn baby, burrrrrrrrrnnnn! :D

Spookster
11-13-2006, 05:41 PM
There was no vulgar language in that recording as per FCC regulations. Don't even try to play this game with me. The Spookster will always win...even if that means making you disappear. :thumbsup:

ArcticFox
11-13-2006, 07:55 PM
You're not dealing with the FCC - Kids frequent these forums as well as people at work. Let's see if quotes from that audio are acceptable here:



You being a smart ***?
No sir.
Let me put it to you this way, Mike; Say I want to mail your *** a letter... what would I have to write on the outside of that envelpoe to ensure that the mailman would deliver it right to your ***?






Mr. May was a flaming homosexual.

[...]

Were you his gay lover?
What?! No! What the hell kind of a question is...
Look, if gay is your way that's okay I still know there's a lot of you gay people in the closet, I'm not saying I haven't thought about it myself.

[...]

...couple drinks, cute little Mexican midget...



Looks like certain words are NOT acceptable here and therefor are inappropriate for young visitors on this site.

Spookster
11-13-2006, 08:12 PM
Obviously you are not familiar with the FCC. Both of you blatantly used a vulgar word in the forums and the same word I might add. The word used in that recording is acceptable when used in the appropriate context. Your word however is not acceptable in any context.

Since this seems to be difficult to grasp or rather you have nothing better to do than to try and bait me into an argument I will just remove the link. I hope that makes you happy.

Spookster
11-13-2006, 08:13 PM
Apparently I am not able to edit my own post in this forum. Guess you will just have to deal with it.

croatiankid
11-13-2006, 08:13 PM
didn't bother me...

Aradon
11-13-2006, 09:49 PM
Apparently I am not able to edit my own post in this forum. Guess you will just have to deal with it.

Don't take this the wrong way Spookster, but I find that ironically hilarious.

ArcticFox
11-13-2006, 11:30 PM
Might as well turn this into a circle...

http://www.codingforums.com/showthread.php?t=100445


Oh yeah;

Obviously you are not familiar with the FCC.

I am familiar enough to know that the FCC has nothing to do with any of this. And not that I really care, but I'd like this "Infraction" removed... whatever that is.

Carradee
11-13-2006, 11:40 PM
Well, thanks for the warning about the language, as it warned me away from listening...

As someone who's been on the caller end of market research (surveys, not telemarketing), I count myself fortunate that the worst I've had is people hang up on me...

EDIT: BTW, insults to callers do offend me. It's their job. I'll bet you they hate their job as much as you do.

Not that 1 kid's opinion's going to make much of a difference.

-'Dee

Spookster
11-14-2006, 03:39 AM
Might as well turn this into a circle...

http://www.codingforums.com/showthread.php?t=100445


Oh yeah;


I am familiar enough to know that the FCC has nothing to do with any of this. And not that I really care, but I'd like this "Infraction" removed... whatever that is.

If you had noticed that audio file was played on an american radio station show. What language can and can't be played on radio and TV is governed by the FCC. In these forums our rule of thumb when it comes to what language you can and can't use very closely follows what the FCC allows. So yes the FCC has much to do with this.

The infraction points you were given eventually expire. Keep arguing with me and I'll start handing out infraction points like candy. :D

Spookster
11-14-2006, 03:42 AM
Well, thanks for the warning about the language, as it warned me away from listening...

As someone who's been on the caller end of market research (surveys, not telemarketing), I count myself fortunate that the worst I've had is people hang up on me...

EDIT: BTW, insults to callers do offend me. It's their job. I'll bet you they hate their job as much as you do.

Not that 1 kid's opinion's going to make much of a difference.

-'Dee

There was no serious language in the audio file. Nothing that you wouldn't currently hear on daytime television. And they weren't insulting the telemarketer but instead played a pretty mean (and quite funny) joke.

ArcticFox
11-14-2006, 03:57 AM
Funny as an ***.

Why is *** edited out on these forums? The FCC allows it.

Spookster
11-14-2006, 04:08 AM
Funny as an ***.

Why is *** edited out on these forums? The FCC allows it.

lol Since this word can be used in different contexts the FCC has been superceded by WA. As a side note there is a phrase called "the seven deadly words". A comedian coined this phrase long ago and these seven words are the ones that the FCC does not allow on the radio or TV (with the new exception of afterhours on TV). The word you and that other guy used was one of those words.

Aradon
11-14-2006, 12:57 PM
I think you all are missing the point of this thread.

That call, was hilarious.

Oh, and let's debug the initial arguement:


You're not dealing with the FCC - Kids frequent these forums as well as people at work. Let's see if quotes from that audio are acceptable here:


Okay, firstly I don't think Kids hear anything here that they don't hear at school, on TV, on the Radio, from home, from other kids, etc.

Secondly if you're at work do you click links like these on a regular basis? Unless you are IT, I don't see a reason why you would. Honestly when I'm at work I limit my activities on the net. I figure I should be using that time to, hum, work.

But I digress. Obviously we're debating this rule:


# 1.6) No objectionable content- Do not post content/subject/links that may not be appropriate to everybody, including minors. Examples include adult links, hateful/ distasteful content, vulgar language etc.

I think this problem is two fold. Firstly that the definition of vulgar language is ambigious and that it varies from one person to another. So while I may find the word flaming homosexual just a coherient part of the hilarity, another may find it vulgar.

I had a co-worker who was a morman and thusly would walk out of movies with bad language or scenes that even appeared like they were going to be graphic.

So it's all up to interpertation.




Then again, since Spook has stated it's based of FCC rules, I'd just go with that. :P

The Iconoclast
11-18-2006, 04:01 AM
I saw the original on Digg, and it's truly priceless. Sure, the telemarketer must have been freaking out a little bit, but I'll bet it hit him when he was driving home :P


That is absolutely hilarious. A guy from the Village Voice (http://www.villagevoice.com/blogs/eugene/archives/2005/09/god_called_he_h.php) did the same kind of thing a year ago.

HAHAHA! I haven't seen this one before. Priceless.

VIPStephan
11-20-2006, 11:56 PM
[...] there is a phrase called "the seven deadly words". A comedian coined this phrase long ago and these seven words are the ones that the FCC does not allow on the radio or TV (with the new exception of afterhours on TV). The word you and that other guy used was one of those words.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_dirty_words


Oh my god! What about my kids reading the encyclopedia? :eek:

Aradon
11-21-2006, 01:17 AM
Wikipedia is not an encyclopedia

kaitco
11-29-2006, 11:26 PM
Wikipedia is not an encyclopedia

Actually, it is. "Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia that anyone can edit."

While I would not use it as a source in a paper, Wikipedia is technically a free encyclopedia that is available in many languages for anyone.

Is the majority of this discussion over the language used in the original post or my post? Should I include a disclaimer or something? :confused:

RichardBlank
04-14-2008, 11:38 PM
I know it is tough to pick up the phone. If you are in need of some advice, tips or just motivation to make your calls, let
me know. I would be glad to help.

A carefully crafted script, coupled with motivational training, will mentally prepare your personality to make the maximum number of completed sales each day. One extra lead can make all of the difference to your company’s bottom line and growth.

Only the most dedicated, quick witted and endurance driven individuals will be successful. You need the skills to successfully handle rejection gracefully while at the same time thinking outside of the box to make a sale.

A telemarketer that rushes through a script for fear of rejection can never match up equally to a well trained sales executive. Try to represent yourself and your company in the best light when selling your product or service.

Good luck, and remember to smile when you dial.



despammed

mlse
04-15-2008, 10:28 AM
I have a completely failsafe solution for telemarketers and door-to-door salesmen. It works a treat! The trick (when you have time to talk to them!) is to come up with a reason (the more bizarre the better) why you have absolutely no need for their product/service.

For example:

Telemarketing:
salesman: "We're in your area at the moment, offering massive discounts on double glazing! Do you need any windows replacing in your house?"
me: Oh! What a shame ... if you had called me last week then I wouldn't have had all my windows bricked up! Ah well, never mind!
salesman: "Ummmm .... ahhh ... I see ..." (etc)

Door-to-door salesman: (this one really screws with their head!)
salesman: "We're in your area at the moment, offering massive discounts on double glazing! I see you have a lot of windows! Do any need replacing?"
me (with a completely straight face): "I don't have any windows."
salesman: "Errr .... what?"
me: "I don't have any windows. Any windows that you see are merely a figment of your imagination."
salesman: "Errr .... ummmm .... I see ..." (etc)


Try it - it works a treat :D

Aceramic
04-15-2008, 04:11 PM
I've found that asking them questions back works quite well. :)

Salesman: Is Mr.<insert name> available? We would like to offer him an incredible deal on refinancing his home.
Me: Which one?
Salesman: Excuse me?
Me: Which person by that name are you looking for?
Salesperson: Umm... The homeowner.
Me: Sorry, he's not here right now, can I take a message?
Salesperson: Umm... No thanks, bye.

My favorite is when we get repeated calls for carpet cleaning (of course, being rude always helps) :

Salesperson: Hello, I am <insert name>. I'm working with <insert company name>, we will be in your area offering amazing discounts on carpet cleaning *blah blah blah*. May we interest you in a free consultation?

Me: I don't have any carpet.

Salesperson: Excuse me?

Me: I. Don't. Have. Any. Carpet. I told you this last week when you called. I STILL DON'T HAVE ANY CARPET. Now, unless you're offering ceramic tile cleaning at the low cost of $0, I would like for you to never call me again. I am on the National Do Not Call list. I would recommend that you follow it.

Salesperson: *click*

If all else fails, ask them for their credit card number. Never fails that they'll hang up. :)

Apostropartheid
04-15-2008, 08:55 PM
I've always miaowed down the phone line; a trick I learnt from my dearest Lara. It works even better in person, because I get a toy kitty and stick stuff on it each time.
"miaow."
"...Sorry, sir?"
"miaow!" *sticks on a beret*
"Are you...okay?"
"MIAOW!" *puts on chav bling*
"Shall I come back another time?"
"MIIAAAAOW!" *sticks a bracelet on* "MIAOW MIAOW MIIIAAAAAAOW!"

If he's still there by that time, I let my wife take over. My wife is weird...

I have all this kit ready to use, because I'm just that sad.

mjlorbet
04-16-2008, 01:43 AM
personally, i try to do the world a favor with telemarketers -- keeping them on the phone for as long as humanly possible (partially so they don't bother anyone else during that time period, and partially because i'm horribly lonely & enjoy messing with people, jk). just keep asking questions, purposely sidetrack yourself & go off on tangents & slowly bring them back towards the product or service they are offering but never quite get there. then after an hour or so, pull the old, wait, "no i'm not interested in that" or "wait, you're not jim... and all this time..." or "my dog's stuck in the dryer and i can't get him out" whatever does it for you.

btw, cyanlight.... you're my hero

bcarl314
04-16-2008, 04:14 AM
OH man, this brings me back to my college days. Before the "Do not call" lists that ruined much of my fun (but surprisingly, freed up a lot of time in my life).

I always wondered how Mortgage companies ended up with a list of people that were college students to call and ask for refininancing. I mean, come on - college students can barely afford to eat, let alone a mortgage payment.

Anyway, whenever we got one of these calls at the apartment, I'd always take over. Being a math major at the time, I was able to go round and round for about 45 minutes with these people.

The call would usually start by them asking some rediculous questions like "How would you like to get some extra money to buy a new car".

Heck yeah!

Then I'd chime in with, I'd also like to pay off some credit card debt too, can you do that?

and steer them away from asking any qualifying question like do you have income, etc.

Whenever I'd get a question about "How much do you make", I'd redirect them to some bogus debt situation, and ramble on about what rate I could get and how much I could save blah blah blah.

Finally after 45 minutes, and this guy thinking he's got the best lead of the day, I'd let him know that I didn't have a job (college) and lived in an apartment (no equity)

Man they would get pissed. I even had one guy start swearing at me.

The really funny thing is, I know several times, I was able to pull the same stunt on the same person from the same company within the same month!

Yaoza!

evo
04-16-2008, 08:44 AM
For anyone who's annoyed by sales calls, there is a website which you register with, that when listed, prohibits marketing/sales companies from calling you.

I know the US version, but I can't seem to find the UK alternative. Being from the UK, it's quite ironic I know... if anyone knows it, post it up. I'm sure it'll help a lot of people.

US version: https://www.donotcall.gov/

---------
Content Alert: Link below contains offensive language at times.

For those who really like to see sales people being annoyed, or just get a little laugh, there is a program, or used to be a program called fonejacker.

Website for clips is at www.fonejacker.tv. I'm sure you'll find some on youtube if you looked for it. Look out for the rapping-interview, it's genius. They are all real people/real calls and unrehearsed.

mlse
04-16-2008, 10:18 AM
Yep, there's a UK version - it's the Telephone Preference Service (www.tpsonline.org.uk), it's completely free to join, and once your details have been registered for 4-6 weeks then it is illegal under UK law for anyone to contact you by phone in an unsolicited manner.

If someone calls you after you have been registered for more than 6 weeks, you just say, "This telephone number is registered with the Telephone Preference Service; you may be breaking the law by making this call today". Then ask for:

1) their name
2) their company's name and registered address.
3) a phone number that a company representative can be contacted on.
4) exactly what they are selling.
5) record the exact time and date of the call.
6) tell them to keep the recording of the call (if one exists).

Under UK law they are required to give you all the information above.

You then go to www.tpsonline.org.uk where you can report the details of the nuisance call. This information is refered to the Information Commissioner's Office (www.ico.gov.uk), who tend to use a "3 strikes and you're out" policy (i.e. if they get enough complaints about a company, then the director of the company will recieve a Court Summons and will be prosecuted under UK law - the law has the power to forcibly shut down the company if they want to).

In other words, UK law is incredibly strict about unsolicited calls! I have registered with the TPS and I get hardly any unsolicited calls anymore. If you do get one, the moment you say "TPS" or "Telephone Preference Service", you hear a sharp intake of breath! Companies and individuals over here are absolutely paranoid about getting on the wrong side of the ICO! It's all driven by the Data Protection Act (www.ico.gov.uk/what_we_cover/data_protection.aspx).

Also, if you have unwittingly signed up to receive marketing calls from a company (such as I did with a particular double glazing company about 5 years ago), then the terms of the DPA state that they are allowed to make marketing calls to you (which is logical!). However, if you write to them telling them that they no longer have your permission to contact you for marketing purposes, then any subsequent attempt to contact you puts them in breach of the DPA. (I suggest that you send a copy of the letter to the ICO in this case).

There is a legally parallel service provided by the ICO via the Mailing Preference Service (www.mpsonline.org.uk), which prevents you from receiving junk paper mail.

Basically, the ICO is your friend! UK-registered businesses are terrified of the ICO!

UK law is so draconian with regard to unsolicited marketing because we are very private people by tradition and we don't take lightly to having our privacy violated.

Aceramic
04-16-2008, 04:22 PM
^ I need to move to the UK. :D

Grant Palin
04-17-2008, 05:14 AM
Hmph. Now I'm curious about the recording contents. However I am hard of hearing. Anyone have a transcript handy?

Fumigator
04-17-2008, 05:56 PM
The humor would probably be lost in translation. The guy answers the phone, telemarketer says "Is such and such home?" and he answers "Who's speaking?" and the guy starts in on his satellite TV pitch when the homeowner cuts him off by asking if the TMer knew the guy he's calling, what's his connection, because he's just called a murder scene. The homeowner proceeds to rape and pillage the poor TMer who just wants to get off the phone but is scared into staying connected with the line "You will be charged for impeding an investigation if you hang up", and other such merry-making.

jcdevelopment
04-18-2008, 04:26 PM
This is one of the most entertaining threads i have ever read!



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