Something wrong ?

[Xaero]

Hello everybody,

I have recently translated my web based game into english , but I observ a high bounce rate , so i'm wondering if the translation is not rude or innapropriate.

here is the website : http://xmrpg.com

Please tell me everything that seem wrong , thank you for your help :)

[audiogal81]

I don't see anything rude/inappropriate, but there are minor grammatical errors:

Your character evolves in a medieval fantastic world and fights players from other races for free.
Here is a list from the principal preacticalities of the game (Main game features):
3D Online RPG.
Free RPG, entirely playable from your navigator(maybe you mean computer?).
A RPG that emphasizes cooperation but not competition.
Group strategy : Take part to (in) passsionate (fierce?)attacks with many other(multiple) players. (or say multi-player battles)

[Xaero]

Thank you audiogal81 for your corrections.

In fact , the game is playable directly from the browser ( maybe it's a better word here ) without downloading or installing anything.

I change the description to insist on this point , as i saw that most of english games are text based, maybe pple are not used to graphical browser games.

[Apostropartheid]

Ah, vous êtes français ? C'expliquerait vos verbes. Ça va, je le verrai.
To start with, the copy still doesn't read like natural English. I'll post it again with a couple more corrections (though it's probably still better than my attempts at French):
Xm-Rpg is a (Massively Multiplayer Online [si vous voulez]) Role Playing Game (MMORPG) in which you play as a member of one of the four races. Your character evolves in a persistent, medieval, fantastic world and fights players from other races.
Main game features:
• 3D Online RPG
• Free Browser-Based RPG: no downloads, no plugins required
• A RPG that emphasizes cooperation, not competition
• Group strategy: take part in an exciting attack with multiple players

Yes, yes, I know prepositions in English are a pain.
Passionnant, if that were the original word, isn't translated as passionate: rather, exciting. False cognate.

Also, "visualize it bigger" should be "enlarge".

I think the bounces may come from you not quite selling it enough. I don't know, maybe actual images instead of blanks might help in the screenshot section?

[Fumigator]

Oohh, here's the problem:


A RPG that emphasizes cooperation, not competition


What's the point? ;)

[Xaero]

Thank you CyanLight for your corrections.

It's weird that you can't see screenshots , this display nothing ? : http://xmrpg.com/screenshots/1_mini.png

And yes I'm french, your french is quite good ;)


Yes Fumigator , it's possible, i know it's unusual ;)

[Apostropartheid]

I catch a glimpse of them when the page loads, but then they get hidden underneath. It's strange, because that image loads up fine.

[Xaero]

Can you tell me what browser you use ?

[bazz]

I use FF 3 and when clicking the link in your OP, I see what looks like a page. then I click a thumbnail (the same one as posted above) and it loads a new page with an image all over the top of it. when I click to go back I do not get back to the first page. That is likely why your bounce rate is high.

validate your code. I found 8 errors which are throwing off closing tags of your js as well.

bazz

[Xaero]

Code is now ok , it was valid but I don't check after last modifications.

In fact , it doesn't load a new page , it just make a layer appears, if you click again on the image , the layer will disappear.

But it's probably not user friendly, maybe if I add a close button on the right , it could help to understand ?

[Apostropartheid]

A close button would probably be best.

I use IE8.