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View Full Version : Dr. Seuss on Computer Crashing



stacyfox
12-30-2008, 06:19 PM
Many of you have wondered why a computer crashes. It is usually very technical but maybe this will help. Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

Millenia
12-30-2008, 07:54 PM
Many of you have wondered why a computer crashes. It is usually very technical but maybe this will help. Dr. Seuss Explains Why Computers Sometimes Crash.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions cause unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM then quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your Mom!

That's really awesome. Where did you find it? Or is it yours?

Fumigator
12-30-2008, 08:10 PM
Love it. I want to see the illustrations!

borntoslow
12-30-2008, 08:55 PM
brilliant, 10 out of 10.

jerry62704
12-30-2008, 10:22 PM
Mega dittos to the above!

VIPStephan
12-31-2008, 02:35 AM
Maybe Chuck, the mighty SEO rapper (http://theseorapper.com/), can do a hit out of that? :D

Fou-Lu
12-31-2008, 03:16 AM
brilliant, 10 out of 10.
Agreed.

http://www.usnews.com/dbimages/master/3377/FE_DA_080201microsoft.jpg
Excellent......

borntoslow
12-31-2008, 06:44 AM
Fou-Lu, hahaha, also love that.

Millenia
12-31-2008, 02:13 PM
Maybe Chuck, the mighty SEO rapper (http://theseorapper.com/), can do a hit out of that? :D

The coolest rapper ever. (Or the only rapper I like)

billyswordman
01-02-2009, 03:03 AM
Hahaha, genius...Like it!

interwebmaniac
01-05-2009, 06:23 AM
hahah thats gotta be one of the funniest rhymes i have seen in all my life =P

ged
04-04-2009, 02:19 AM
Here is the original - the one posted above was a bit of a dumbed down version of the full poem.

I wrote it but feel free to modify and post as your own any time. :-)

Computers! by Dr. "Ged" Seuss.


If a packet hits a bad pocket on a rocket socket port
The busy backend bus is broken as a last resort
The random wrangling of memory makes your dial-up abort
Then the rocket socket packet pocket has an error to report.

When your cursed cursor’s pointy pointer clicks a pixilated dash
The infamous infernal icon puts the window in the trash
{(IF (the $data) is = degraded (THEN #the $index)) will == not –hash}
{(FOR if the (system state) seems = $suspect) NEXT it will crash!}

If the label on the cable on the table at your house
says the network NIC card nearby is connected to the mouse
The display depicts distortion from the side effects of gauss
Then the only option left? Go get some gasoline to douse

If the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk
The fragmentation forces fracture like a fickle feeling frisk
The macro’s meanial mandate becomes an unnecessary risk
Then the floppy’s sloppy copy will be gloppy instead of brisk!

The digital digest of datagrams direct a different protocol
that is repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
Instead the inappropriate pics you printed were emailed to the staff one and all!
Very likely a virile virus, a network nerd you need to call

Informed of your infection, beset by the baneful bomb
You curse the computer’s components and pound them with your palm
You'll be forced to flash the bios and required to rip your ROM
But you should be very thankful it was to the staff and not your Mom!

ged
04-04-2009, 02:30 AM
Of course I am kidding about being the author - everyone knows that it was written by Gene Ziegler (http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/elz1/clocktower/) and that it has been plagurized and rewritten many time over. Hence the remark about modifying and posting.

The original is on his website with many other great stories and poems.

person5
04-04-2009, 06:08 PM
COOL!:thumbsup::thumbsup:

ChrisCharmers
04-05-2009, 10:12 PM
Love it. I want to see the illustrations!

yeah so do i

lesley197482
04-16-2009, 11:16 AM
Oh that's brilliant :)

I needed a laugh this evening, didn't think I was going to find it here though! :rolleyes:



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